Strangled Soul

[Dano]

Todd used to be a rock star...

I was standing in line somewhere (does it really matter where?) and I caught him out of the corner of my eye. Or rather, I caught his shadow, a stunted doppleganger. A wasted imitation of a man I used to look up to.

"Hey Todd."

He looked up, his sunglasses too large for his face, a nonsensical smattering of stubble on his chin and neck. His hair was either dirty or messed-up stylish. I swear he'd shrunk an inch or two. His clothes hung on his once-wiry frame like the ever-cliched rags. He was shaking.

He smiled and his rotting teeth grabbed my attention. His hand found my belly and lingered. It took me a second to realize he was trying to hug me. I wrapped my arms around him and tried not to crush the life out of him.

"Hey brother Dan, how are you?"

That's what did it, his voice. I hadn't believed it was real until I heard him speak. Quivering, pensive, barely above a whisper. And too high, not at all the resonant instrument it used to be.

"I'm ok, working, not much else."
"Still writing?"
"Yeah, putting together something to self-publish now."
"Right on, that's great. I really like your stuff."

Amazing, a compliment from him still lights me up.

"What about you?" I silently prayed he'd talk about work or his music or his latest underage girlfriend or anything except...

"They've got me on a maintenance drug now, weaning me off everything else."
What else can you say to something like that? "Yeah. You look good."
"No I don't, I look like shit," he smirked at me, clearly meaning no offense but also not putting up with bullshit.

What else can you say? What else could I say? I longed to reach out and pull him to me, hold him like a father, heal him. I wanted to tell him how I listened to his cd about a thousand times when it first came out, wishing I could be as cool as he was. I wanted to tell him that I was glad he was done poisoning himself. I wanted to tell him... I wanted to cry.But, I'm a coward, and just stood there like an idiot.

He felt the tension immediately. He's probably run into it more than a few times in the last year. He quietly said he'd run into me later and slipped away.

Whisper and gone...

[Oz]

wow. fucking great. reminds me of the first time i read stuff here. reminds me of the first stuff i read of yours dano. i like this one a lot. more than a lot. i like this one in the way that i need to talk to you on IM. this is good dano.

[gollum]

Shine On You Crazy Diamond
(Parts I * II * III * IV * V)

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun
Shine on you crazy diamond
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky
Shine on you crazy diamond
You were caught in the cross-fire of childhood and stardom, blown on the steel breeze
Come on you target for far away laughter, come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!1
You reached for the secret too soon,
you cried for the moon
Shine on you crazy diamond
Thratened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light
Shine on you crazy diamond
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision
Rode on the steel breeze
Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!1

-Roger Waters

[Peace Monkies]

Wow...
That is just so honest. Beautifully written, Dano. :-)


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'Father please forgive me, for I can not compose, the fear that lives within me or the rate at which it grows' ~dc Talk